At some point, the pain overtook me. I went spinning deep into the blackest depths of waters, my tumbling uncontrollable. I didn't fight it. My cameras collected dust. My film is undeveloped. And like many other times in my life, I forgot.
It may have been on purpose. It usually is. But I found myself wandering back to my business Facebook page tonight, mostly unused despite having a prominent spot in my favorites on my regular Facebook feed. And then I started looking at the photos.
Crap. I did that. I know how to make images like those. There are terabytes of photographs on drives I still have. Ten years worth of my life in pictures. Friends I cherish, places I've been, things I've experienced. Adventure.
Somehow, I became obsessed with survival and only survival. It was like tunnel vision. I had to play chicken with the train, and I had to win. It's hard to remember that not everything is life or death anymore.
I'm going to start again. This is your warning. This bitch is going to start wielding a camera again. And this time she gives a lot less fucks.