S.O.B.

I’m gonna need someone to help me
I’m gonna need somebody’s hand
I’m gonna need someone to hold me down
I’m gonna need someone to care
I’m gonna writhe and shake my body
I’ll start pulling out my hair
I’m going to cover myself with the ashes of you
And nobody’s gonna give a damn
— Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats

Ah, grad school. How I underestimated your time suck. Supporters on my Patreon today got this post, plus three images.

The thesis is taking a mild redirection (that thankfully doesn't require actual redirection proposals), in that it's going to focus on me and the people around me instead of strangers. I've discussed this with one of my professors in-depth, and we felt it best if the second chapter of this series could stand alone as well as the first did. I mean, if the work were to be truly conceptually sound, it would in the first place.

Unfortunately, another contributing factor to my lack of posting and updating is my health. It appears that the spondyloarthritis diagnosis wasn't the entire picture. Now, as my arms, hands, and face lose feeling, I'm eagerly awaiting a specialist appointment with the MS Clinic at UW for testing of an autoimmune condition. We've already ruled out MS itself through MRI with contrast, but a lumbar puncture will likely shed more light on what's happening and the best course of treatment. 

I never thought that I would ever willingly think to myself, "I can't wait to schedule this lumbar puncture." To be honest though, my ability to function is diminishing, I am in pain constantly, and the danger, pain, and discomfort of the lumbar puncture seems like a small price to pay for a potential diagnosis, treatment, and even possibly relief (even temporary!).

To be honest, the photography keeps me going. Yesterday afternoon, I felt like collapsing into my bed and succumbing to depression. Remembering what happened last time I did that, I forced myself up to take a photo. That led to more photos, which led to schoolwork, which was interrupted by a trip to the ER. Such is life. The streak kept going this morning though, and I've been attempting homework in the lulls of the day. If anything else, I want to sustain this interest. I know that when I lose interest in the art, everything else will start to go.

We can't have that, can we?